Dog Park Dispatch: Dog Person Problems
There really is no better place to understand what it means to be a “Dog Person” than taking a trip to your local dog park. Our undercover reporter has compiled a quick list of common #DogPersonProblems in this month’s Dog Park Dispatch.
1. The Umbrella Tango
The Umbrella Tango is a rare sighting at the dog park. It occurs during mid-to-heavy rainfall, when both Fido and Dog Person are reluctant to leave the home. But alas, nature calls! In these scenarios, you will find the Dog Person willingly pushing the umbrella away from him and over his dog, protecting Fido from those evil and uncomfortable pellets also known as rain. The Dog Person is careful to follow Fido’s unpredictable steps and circle the same six-inch patch of grass until the dog shows satisfaction by moving into “set” position, and that’s when the Umbrella Tango comes to a full and complete STOP. The Dog Person’s come too far to distract Fido. Must. Let. Him. Finish.
2. The Sprint-and-Stop
One of the most frustrating and anticlimactic things that can happen in the dog park is when Fido is indifferent to play. Let’s not forget the whole Umbrella Tango we had to do just to get here! This is when the Dog Person will take matters into his own hands and conduct several quick sprints, then randomly stop in between. Sometimes even Fido needs a little help in getting the party started.
3. The Reverse Dog Trick
Just when you thought you had dogs and Dog People figured out we’ve decided we wanted to fill you in on a little secret: We, the Dog People, are fully aware that we are actually the well-trained ones. We have been conditioned to give praise, love and encouragement to our pups whenever they do something — anything! Really. For example… Dog sits on his own: “GOOOOOD BOY!” Dog looks at Dog Person: “YES! THAT-A-GIRL!” Dog willingly plays with another dog: “YAY! GOOD JOB! GO GET ‘EM! GET ‘EM!” (LOUD CLAPPING ENSUES)
And the list goes on.
4. Bye, Fido!
Last but not least, a real-life, genuine Dog Person will often say goodbye to other Fidos — and Bo, Marlow, Scout, Bella, each and every one of them!
Say goodbye to a fellow Dog Person by name? Eh, maybe next time.
Did you agree with our list? Don’t forget to share your #DogPersonProblems from the dog park!
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